I think I might just be an alien

Today I feel like an alien, like I don't belong on this planet, and don't even want to belong on this planet. My friend tells me the problem is my expectations, my expectation that human beings will treat each other kindly, with dignity and respect. She tells me that's why I am chronically dissapointed. . . . because of this expectation that I have about the fundamental nature of human beings. She tells me that if I would simply expect to be treated like crap that I would then feel gratitutde and appreciation when I am treated kindly. Interesting perspective. . . .

If I were an alien, today's report to the home planet would inform that the humans of this planet are sad and unhappy people who treat each other with great insensitivity. Happy people just don't push and pull people down around them just to make themselves feel better! And yet on other days my report would be how amazing these human beings are to overcome so many hurdles in life by forgiving and accepting those who hurt and offend. The bottom line is that I just don't understand the mean and hurtful things people do to each other.

Perhaps I should stop trying to figure out why people treat each other so badly, and figure out instead why I am so turned upside down like a desert tortoise who can't upright herself when they do. Why can I not very easily let go of the hurtful things people do? Is Gayle right? Is the fundamental human journey the path of forgiveness? Am I failing to walk on my path of forgiveness?

Today I just feel like a pollyanna alien in a world filled with mean, hurtful, and insensitive people. But with enough pizza and Dr Pepper, this, too, shall pass. . . .even this day shall pass :)