Self Acceptance

There is a lot going on in my life right now. The past several months in particular have been some of the most stressful ones of my entire life. But a most interesting thing is happening. . . .the awareness of certain limitations that I have is actually serving to liberate me. By accepting myself as I actually am, rather than keep working to change into who I would like myself to be, I am starting to feel a sense of peace come over me that I find surprisingly unexpected.

Personal growth is a wonderful thing, but there is also growth to be found in self acceptance. For 26 years I have been living with life experiences that I thought could be "fixed" or "healed" or "changed" in some way, and I have been beating myself against an unyielding wall. But there are some things that no matter how hard a person tries, they just aren't going to be able to fix or change. There comes a point when we simply are who we are, with no apologies, and no regrets. And I think I have finally reached that point in my life. And I'm ok if this is as good as it's ever going to get.

But the other side of self acceptance is a sense of purposefulness. . . .a line that gets drawn in the sand. . . .an inner voice that rises up and says, This is who I am, and I'm not going to stuff myself into anyone else's box for even one more moment. . . .and I won't let this box suck the life out of me.

I see now that change happens all on its own. I can't will it to happen, and I certainly can't stop it when it does. All I can do is let the river carve the canyon. . . .and so I will. . . .