I think for most people, when we think of the word "inspiration," warm and fuzzy images and feelings come to mind...the "positive" sources of inspiration. But I have just had an epiphany about inspiration, one that helps me to see that any experience (positive or negative) can serve as a source of inspiration.
Yes, even negative life experiences can inspire.
This may seem like a no-brainer stating of the obvious, but (for me) it changes everything. Because when I get the wind kicked out of me (metaphorically speaking), I tend to gasp for air for a very long, long time...when I should actually be looking for how to breathe again...meaning, how to be inspired.
Looking for the inspiration from experiences that kick the wind out of me transforms the emotional experience immediately.
As I look back over the course of my life through this new lens, it is like looking at a completely different terrain. I can see clearly how choices that I made were inspired by both positive and negative experiences. I don't feel grateful at all for the difficult journey, but I think that's what's so enlivening about this epiphany. I don't ever need to feel grateful for a given experience...but I can acknowledge that it absolutely inspired me to make certain choices about me and my life.
Why is it that I have been invisibly taught that inspiration arises only from the warm and fuzzy experiences in life?
The most recent emergence of inspiration involves the non-profit piping society I created last year. The creation of which (in and of itself) was inspired by the personally devastating collapse of the pipe band that I had first began to learn how to play the bagpipes. But my decision to move forward with the piping society (rather than dissolving) by adding the promotion of awareness of how bagpiping can be used as music therapy for Veterans eith PTSD is directly inspired by several "negative" experiences I've had this past year. Had I not experienced them, I would not ever have been inspired to change the direction of the piping society's mission. And, I never have to feel grateful for the painful life experiences, either!
Inspiration versus Gratitude.
The new wave of Positive Psychology is centered and focused on gratitude. A daily gratitude journal is part of the program as a way of training the brain to look for gratitude. The problem (for me) is that I am never going to feel grateful for something crappy happening to me, ever. So tying to "force" my brain to find the crumbs of gratitude along the path of doom and destruction quite honestly feels obnoxious and abusive to my spirit.
The bottom line truth is that I DON'T feel grateful when bad things happen...and i'm not ever going to...but these bad things can still inspire me to make adjustments and corrections to my life direction.
This epiphany occurred when I found a Facebook meme about how if a person is in my life, that's because they inspire me in some way. And my very first internal response was, "Well, then I need to clean house, because there's a whole lot of people who don't inspire me, at all!" And, that's when the epiphany transformed the way that I think (and feel) about inspiration.
I can be inspired by an experience, even when I am in great personal pain! Inspiration is nothing more than breathing...breathing through the pain...breathing through the hard truth and acceptance of what is...and breathing in new possibilities while exhaling the toxic byproducts of what is no longer useful for the body, mind, and spirit.
Inspiration is the way we stay alive.
So now I am looking for the inspiration in all of my experiences (especially the ones that feel hurtful and difficult), and I am already starting to breathe life back into my journey...without feeling bad or guilty about my inability to feel gratitude for the crappy things that people do to one another.
And I don't know why, but this new way of thinking about inspiration has allowed me to begin to feel more joy about what I am doing in my life, even when I am certain that the people around me will remain publicly critical and undermining my efforts behind the scenes...I no longer care about what they do...because all of their crappy negativity is what is inspiring me to personal greatness...lol.
I am not ever going to feel grateful for the crappy things that happen...but I do feel grateful that I can still be inspired by even the most challenging of life's lessons imposed upon my journey...so, breathe on...beeathe on, Iindeed!
