I awaken this morning still processing the question of why I am letting this woman get under my skin. I've been lying here for the past hour looking at my journey, and I see very clearly that I have been battling some form of "Satan" throughout my entire life. I can call it Satan, the Dark Lord, darkness, the dark side, devil, demon, monster, evil, badness, cancer. . . .call it what you want, but the effect has been the same. . . .a life time of ever exhausting battle!
But this morning I also see just as clearly that there are two kinds of battle. There is a battle "against" and there is a battle "for." Most of the battles I have waged were a fighting against something. . . .the system, the university, the endless abuse of power. But this other kind of battle (one with which I am far less familiar) is the battle of the for, that standing of one's ground in the face of the against, fighting for that which we want!
My friend Madalena from California so poignantly talks about just this in an email I awakend to find waiting for me this morning. And I think she is absolutely right. . . .no matter where we live, or what we do, no matter how perfectly utopian the circumstances are in our lives, there will always be stress and strife. . . .there will always be something or someone who either intentioanlly or inadvertantly comes between us and the amazing life we want to live. We can not escape the human condition! Which means, there will always be a need to stand our ground and fight for what is most important to us. . . .
However, once we have mastered the art of knowing what is most important in our lives (a daunting task in and of itself), the real challenge becomes learning the difference between these two battles. . . .as there is a very fine line between fighting for what we love. . . . and fighting against what we hate.
The Dark Hedges, Northern Ireland
Home is where the heart is...