The truth of the matter is this: when I allow myself to grind my thoughts over the latest nasty deed, it is my joy that is diminished, not the person who may actually enjoy trying to make me miserable.
I may not know exactly what Jesus meant when he said, "The Kingdom of God is at Hand," but I do believe that I have a choice about what kind of reality I create right here on earth. I can live in a Heaven on Earth, or I can live in a Hell on Earth, but it's not about how I am treated by other people that creates this Heaven or Hell. . . .it's about how I treat myself, and perhaps more importantly, how I treat other people that makes that choice for me.
I remember a fellow grad student that I thought was just a really wonderful person, and he clearly didn't like me, but I never let that deter me from interacting with him with great joy and exhuberance. . . much to his personal dismay, I'm afraid :) So why am I so bothered by what this woman does? Seriously. . . .why am I bothered by what she does? Why am I so apparently incapable of feeling genuine compassion for this woman? Because it's not really about her anymore. . . .it's all about me, me and my limitations as a human being!
The horrible truth is this: knowing that it is my own limitation that causes this suffering and self-mutilation of my joy qutie honestly may not be enough! What if I can't evolve through this? How do I explain this utter failure to God?