The brain can (and will) rewire itself, but Awareness and Acceptance simply are not enough.
Habits are developed around beliefs. If a person believes that eating healthful food is important, then they are more likely to develop habits that include eating foods that better promote health than junk food. Just like how if a person believes they are going to die in two weeks, their lifestyle habits are also very likely going to change. . . .and quickly :)
What we believe shapes our habits, and our habits then reinforce what we believe, and all of this process functions silently and invisibly in the background of our lives. . . .that's the way God made our brains to work.
The problem is when invisible counterproductive beliefs shape our habits, and our then counterproductive habits reinforce the counterproductive beliefs. Like my invisible belief that I don't matter. . . .that belief has shaped a whole lot of lifestyle habits that don't promote my health very well, because when you don't matter, then it doesn't much matter what you do to take care of yourself. When a person invisibly feels like they don't matter, the inner mantra becomes, "What's the point? It doesn't matter....(because I don't matter)." That's the trouble with invisible beliefs. . . .they have a great deal of invisible power over a person's life.
My new life mantra is going to be, "Does it matter?" A question, not a statement. And not "it" in a general abstract way, but "it" in a specific does this matter ("this" being whatever I might be doing or not doing in a given moment). And then I have to answer the question AND justify why it matters (or not), because I have a sneaking suspicion that some things have been mattering way too much, while other things have not been mattering enough. So I'm questioning everything that matters....and everything that doesn't matter....and to whom it actually matters. . . .because the things that matter in my life are way out of balance. And I am fixing this imbalance, but the rewiring of my brain takes time and requires a great deal of patience. . . .but mostly, it just takes time, time for the awareness to settle into acceptance, and then time for the acceptance to work itself into new beliefs for the habits to restructure themsleves around.
I once read about how the indigenous people were unable to see the first boats exploring North America out on the horizon, because there was no concept within their brains to process "boat on the horizon." The first person to actually see the boats on the water's horizon was the shaman, and once the shaman saw the boats he was able to "rewire" the brains of the other tribe members so that they could see it too. That's the way it works with our brains. . . .if we can't comprehend it, we can't integrate and process the new information. That's how God made us.
So, we can't change what we don't accept. . . .and we can't accept what we are not aware of. But Awareness and Acceptance aren't enough, because we need Action to rewire the brain. Which is why my new mantra has become, "Does it matter?" Because I want the things that I do in my life to matter. . . .I want them to matter to me. . . .and I want them to matter to God. . . . even if it never matters to anyone else.
I never knew it would feel so painful to actually matter to myself and to fight this hard for a life that I would not have chosen had I been given the choice. But this is my life. . . .like it, or not. . . .and I really do want my life to be more than anxiety and insomnia and night mares and panic attacks. . . .so I'll do whatever it takes. . . .for however long it takes. . . .