The activating event (A) is the creaking sound I hear in the house at night, generally as I'm trying to go to sleep. Of course I think there's someone in the house (B), which makes me feel vulnerable and powerless (C). . . . but then the discovery occurred.
I feel vulnerable and powerless because my room is at the end of a long house, and even though there is a lock on the door, I am terrified about opening up that door to see if there is actually someone on the other side of that door. Talk about symbolic of just about everything in my life!
I feel vulnerable and powerless because I am afraid to find out what's on the other side of the door. And not just the door, that's the obvious piece. But there are questions that I avoid asking people in my life because I'm afraid to find out what's on the other side.
Awareness and Acceptance aren't enough. . . .it takes ACTION to rewire the brain.
So, no more fear! Tonight, when I hear the creaking, I'm going to open up that door no matter how afraid I might be of what I find, because it's not appropriate to lie in bed terrified that someone might be walking through the house and then just force myself to go to sleep! Someone might actually BE walking through the house, and knowing proactively is a whole lot better than finding out in other ways!
Proactive knowing is better than waiting in terror of what might happen. . . .
I'm also starting to ask the hard questions of the people in my life, because I'm no longer going to make assumptions about why someone has done something (or not done something). I'd rather know, than live with that ball of anxiety in my stomach from worrying and not knowing. It seems so simple, but I'm no longer going to let my fear of what's behind door #2 stop me from asking the hard questions.
Because once I know.. . . then I don't have to worry about it any more. . . .and I can then deal with "what is" rather than the endless possibilities of "what if."