I Am Not Alone

I had an interesting dream last night. In the dream, I am traveling with a group of soldiers, and we stop for food. The driver is an ass, and starts driving so recklessly as we leave the restaurant that he almost hits an elk, so I decide to get out and walk the rest of the way on my own. As I put on my backpack, I take a hard look down the long road ahead and wonder if I will have enough food and water to make it on my own. Then I look over, and one of the other soldiers is putting on his pack and he says to me, "I'm going with you." And in this moment I know that I am the reason he has volunteered for this mission, that he is my personal guardian, and he was going to walk along with me to whatever end.

The funny thing is that I hadn't even really noticed his presence, because he had been so quiet and unassuming, and because I was so focused on the ass of a driver and his erratic and reckless driving and how scared the driver was making me feel. But the solder never even thought twice about picking up his pack and walking on with me. . . .just to make sure that I made it safely back home.

In the Army, we are trained from day one of basic training to never leave your buddy's side, especially when they're down. We weren't even allowed to go anywhere without our buddy, which had it's good points and bad. But life isn't always like that, outside of the Army, at least not the way that I have experienced life. There is a solidarity that I have never found anywhere outside of the Army, that sense of  "we're in this together" instant comradery. I miss that. . . .and I needed to feel that again.

This dream has stayed with me all day, and comforted my anxiety about feeling so alone and isolated down here in Prescott. . . .and I think the soldier in my dream last night was just God's way of reminding me that even though I feel like it right now, I am not alone. . . .not now. . . .not ever :)