I make a difference. . . .I make a difference all of the time. . . .it's just not always the difference that I would like to make. Some times the difference I've made has been appreciated. . . .other times not. Some times the difference I've made has been helpful. . . .and other times definitely not. Difference isn't always a warm and fuzzy feeling, because the cold hard truth is that we all make a difference every single day. . .with every single person we come in contact with. . . .with every single choice that we make. . . .even when we aren't aware that other people are watching. . . .we still make a difference.
It is impossible to not make a difference.
A couple of nights ago one of my coworkers expressed his thoughts about the difference I have made in his life. He is a young kid. . . .just turned 25. . . .and he and I are about as different as night and day on just about every single level of human existence, but we have somehow been able to make those differences work. He said he watches how I process and grapple with situations that haven't gone well. . . .process until I come back and then share what I've learned. . . .until I have figured out what I need to change about myself or the way that I respond to situations or circumstances as they swerve and veer their way throughout the course of events that drop quickly and unexpectedly into the wee quiet of the graveyard night. And he told me that watching the way that I approach these problems we encounter together has made him want to be a better person.
Just watching the way that I approach my life has made this young kid want to be a better person?!
I don't think I've ever known so clearly or so profoundly how I have made a difference in another person's life, but the ironic part about what he said is that I am honestly no different in other situations with other people, but the way that I am with other people very often irritates them and causes them to think (and share) less than kind things about me. So this kid's statement really has more to say about the kind of person that he is (rather than the kind of person that I am), but that also doesn't change how profoundly I was affected by what he shared with me about the kind of difference I have made in his life.
Just watching the way I do my life caused this kid to make a change to the way he approaches his own life. . . .which is precisely the point I am trying to make with this idea of making a difference in someone else's life.
I have a life situation that I am also struggling through, something that I am not able to navigate completely on my own, so I have needed to ask some friends and family members who knew me in my early life to write a statement on my behalf about how they perceived me during that time. The letters I've recieved have only served to reinforce the truth that we honestly do not know how we make a difference in someone else's life. . . .or what they remember about us. . . or how they perceive and interpret what they observed about our life. I think we should all write letters like this to every single person that we grew up with, because I can guarantee that we would all be shocked by both awe and horror (lol) by the difference our life has made invisibly in the lives we encountered along the way.
Working at the switchboard is an unexpected blessing and gift in my life. . . .at first you think it's just about answering phones. . . .or linking guests to the resource they need. . . .or having the right piece of information at the right time. But it's not just about these things, because there are also these amazing moments when another person's life unexpectedly intersects with my own, and neither life is the same because of that nexxus, regardless of how brief that intersection may have been.
Some people are a "pass the buck" or a "hot potato" kind of person, passing the problem or the issue on to someone else who might be able to help because "it's not their problem" so they don't feel responsible or compelled to help. Others are an "own the problem" kind of person. . . .stepping up to do something (hopefully meaningful. . . . hopefully positive. . . . hopefully helpful). . . .even if it's the wrong thing. . . . because they have a "we're in this together" way of approaching the crappy stuff that life throws our way. Perhaps we are all a little bit of each, depending on the situation or frame of mind in a given moment, and perhaps each philosophy has its place depending on other factors involved. I don't know.
What I do know is that we don't really control how other people perceive the difference that we make. We can want to make a positive difference all day long, but the truth is that all we can really do is be true to ourselves. . . .be true to the way that we need to walk our own path and our own journey. . . .and if that truth makes a difference in the life of another person, then that is both a gift and a blessing. But it is not a choice that we make for another person. . . . . it is a choice that another person makes for their self.
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