I've been thinking about how I make decisions in my life (particularly when there are significant safety issues at stake), and I think the perfect metaphor is NASA's Mission Control.
Mission Control isn't a single person, it's actuallyy an entire community of experts that focus on only one part of the mission. And when everything is coming down to the final decision of "Go" or "No Go," every single expert has to give a "Go," in order for the mission to move forward. Or, another way of saying this is that it only takes ONE "No Go" to cancel the entire mission.
This has really helped me to quell the internal pressure to push on toward my easterly destination...because I have some quite valid reasons for why I have delayed the Nova Scotia mission. But, I am still very aware of the pressure to continue on, regardless of the risks involved.
I wonder if the person who gives a "No Go" for a Shuttle mission feels pressured to give a "Go," simply because everyone has worked so hard to get the mission to that point. Does the person to the left or right shove an elbow in their side (or kick them under the control desk) with an abruptly murmered, "Just give the "Go" already!"
It takes a great deal of personal fortitude to be the person who makes the judgment call to cancel a Shuttle mission. But I also think it takes just as much personal fortitude to cancel a personal mission, as well. Cancel the immediate plan, not scrap the whole mission...delay to make necessary adjustments and repairs.
But this is precisely what I'm doing. The part of me that's "in charge" of safety concerns has delayed the mission, and the part thatvs in charge of financing the mission concurs...lol. Not a permanent kibosh, but I definitely will need some time to get everything researched so that decisions can be made...and then it will take time to implement those decisions once they've been made.
So Mission Control has cooled the jets, and I am relieved that this decision has removed the pressure to trudge on through the concerns, even if my concerns are based in personal anxieties stemming from inexperience and incomplete confidence.
I can make the right judgment call...even when that decision disappoints other parts of me. Disappointment is part of the risk that we take (when such a large mission is at stake).
So, I'm collecting information...and that is still working toward the goal, so I am perfectly content to step back and let this part of me take over for a while, because part of the pool of information to process involves the real-life experience learned since I've been out on the road on what I will call the "shake down" phase.
Mission Control is still in charge...lol...and I have an appointment tomorrow to meet with the trailer people for more information about the brakes, so it's all in motion...including the consequnces of each and every choice made along the way.
I am looking forward to the "Go," but I'm not going to force it...lol
