What strikes me about this dream is two things: one, I was afraid to speak up because I was living in someone else's house, and two, I woke up at the point when I was experiencing a very uncomfortable emotional experience (which is a huge insight for my chronic sleep deprivation). . . .but moving on. . . .
When we live in someone else's house, we are expected to live by their rules. My house. . . .my rules. It's what parents enforce with their rebellious teenagers, and it's just respectful behavior (when we are staying in someone else's house). But what does this mean in terms of my personal evolution?
Living in someone else's house means that I am dependent upon the "lord and lady" of that house, because I am granted access and permission based on their approval of my presence. This is just a statement of fact. When I rent from someone, I am dependent upon the landlord's approval. When I work for someone, I am dependent upon the employer's approval. When I live in someone else's house, I am dependent upon the owner's approval of me and what I do. For me personally, the more dependent I feel, the more anxious I feel about speaking my personal truth. But why do I live in other people's houses in terms of my personal power? As I so uneloquently told the people in my dream, I am a grown ass adult! lol. . . .
As an adult in the earthly world, we move out of our parents' home and into our own home (either alone, or with our spouse), which is, of course, one of the signs of becoming an autonomous and independent adult. So what does it mean to be a spiritual adult? Which then makes me wonder about the spiritual house in which I live. For me, personally, the kingdom where my spiritual house resides is the Kingdom of God, but why do I live in other people's houses within this kingdom? Another way of saying this is, why do I remain dependent upon how other people think about me or the life I choose to live?
I think that a spiritual adult is one who makes choices about how they live their life based on not just the approval of God, but also with the willingness to accept the consequences of choices made even if and when God does not approve of that choice. That's what free will means. And God is the one who gives us free will. So if God has blessed me with the ability to make choices about how I live my life, and if I am willing to accept the consequences of these choices from God, then why do I worry so much about how other people who are not God think of me?
So the only question on my mind tonight is, spiritually speaking, whose house do I live in?
I think it's easier (on one level) to simply live in God's house. God's house is a safe and protected place, but it also means that I am then expected to live by the rules of this house, which makes me a spiritual child dependent upon God's approval of "right versus wrong/good versus bad" choices in order to remain living within this house.
But God offers more than just the Law of Moses. God offers each of us the deed to our own spiritual house. . . .a house where we are free to make our own choices. . . .a house where we alone are responsible for the consequences of those choices. . . . .a house that's built from the walls of free will, that amazing gift of God.
So, do I want to be a spiritual child, or a spiritual adult? Do I live in fear of God's approval, or do I live in God's gift of free will? Am I willing to accept the consequences of living a life that even God may not approve of? My answer is unequivocally, yes, I want to be a spiritual adult fully willing to accept the consequences of the choices I make about me and the way I live my life. But am I really ready to accept the deed to my own spiritual house?