I have been "forced" to deconstruct the construct of "Happiness" by the OT process of Positive Psychology, so I have been observing how happiness moves through my world. And it dawned on me this morning that perhaps I have been a bit deceived by happiness.
Happiness is one sly little devil.
My brain hurts all of the time, a physical pain that is sometimes more, sometimes less, depending on how stressed I am by local environmental stressors...but my brain hurts, all of the time. I accept this reality, so my brain can hurt at the same time that I can feel at peace, grateful, and content...but I'm not happy.
I very, very rarely ever feel "happy."
But, this morning I was thinking about how I have been feeling as I create my trailer, how each time I find a creative solution I am filled with an abundance of joyful self-pride that feels really, really good. I feel good about myself because I greatly esteem my creativity strength, so I feel proud of myself, but I would have never called this feeling "happy."
What if I have been wrong about what happiness is supposed to look and feel like?
And that's when it dawned on me that perhaps "happy" isn't so much a distinct feeling in and of itself, but perhaps a collection of positive emotions that when we experience them, they are what make us feel happy. Perhaps there are many different faces of happy, rather than just one "happy face."
I love this way of thinking about happy, because if there are many different faces of happy, then I acually feel happy a lot more often than what I have been realizing, which makes me feel very, very happy, indeed!
