Today I resigned from the last significant responsibility that I had on my plate...and I realize tonight that I have pared my life down so that for the first time in my life, I am finally living life on my terms...completely on my own terms.
But, living life on my terms has its price.
I had to let go of the job that provided financial security. I had to let go of the stable home that kept Sarra and me safe and warm. I had to let go of the academic program that promised to finally make me marketable. I had to let go of the piping society, community piping, and piper's glen. I also had to let go of all of the hopes that I've been carrying around within my heart about how other people might change the way they think and feel about me. But most importantly, I've had to let go of the image of who I thought I was supposed to be.
My world is crumbling to pieces around me...and I am doing nothing to try and stop it or perform CPR to resuscitate it back to life.
I am finally letting go...
On the other side of this process, I am creating a life that I can manage without having to answer to another single person for what I do, or how I do it. (Within lawful social parameters, of course.) And, my life is now pared down to nothing but me and what makes my soul babble.
My life is finally all about me...
I don't mean that in a narcissistic way. What I mean is that my life is finally all about me...MY passion....MY purpose...MY path. And because my life has been whittled down to nothing more than what I choose to do with my own life, other people's thoughts and words about me become nothing more than the opinions that they have a right to hold in their own mind about me and what I choose to do with my life. BUT, they no longer have any authority over me personally, or how I choose to live and apply my passion and purpose.
No one any longer has a say in how I choose to live my life...as I am now only accountable to God for my choices and actions...so I am finally free to absolutely live life on my terms...
