Life on My Terms

Maybe it's because of how I grew up. . . .maybe it's because of the way other people's stories have been imposed upon my own. . . .or maybe it's just the way God made me. . . .I may never know. But what I do know is that from this point forward, I am only capable of living life on my terms.

I don't want to work for someone else. . . . .I don't want to spend my life energy supporting a persoal agenda that I can never get on board with. . . . .and I don't want to tuck my values underneath my trench coat just to fit in to whatever corporate micro-climate happens to be funding my pay check.

I want to live my life on my terms, and my terms only.

This means that I may be unemployed for a while, and that's going to have to be ok. It also means that some people may not ever like me, and that's ok, too. It may also mean that friends or family members who think I live my life irresponsibily may no longer make time for me or the relationship we once shared, and that, too, is just going to have to be ok, because I am going to create the life that's meaningful for me and live my life on my terms. . . .no matter what I may have to give up along the way.

The funny thing is that what I want hasn't changed. . . .I've always been clear on what I want and how I want to create my life. . . .I've just had some trouble translating that vision into my daily life. So I'm about to find out how much I have learned about myself and what I need to create the life of my dreams, and this is an exciting adventure I am about to dive myself into, because even with the paralegal piece added to the mix, I still envision life as an independent contractor, rather than working in a hard-core fast-pace corporate environment. . . .I want to work for myself. . . .I want to structure my time in a way that best suits my biorhythms. . . .and I want to take time off for travel on my schedule, rather than what is demanded by case load or seasonal needs.

I am less than an hour away from working my last shift here at the canyon, so on this particular day I all too well understand that there are trade-offs for this kind of flexibility and freedom. But it's absolutely what I want. . . .because if I want purple flowers, I can't use brown paint. . . .and the only way I will ever create it is if every single decision that I make aligns with and supports the way of life I want to create. . . .so that's exactly what I'm going to do. . . .even if it kills me. . . .lol