And all I can say right now, is what the hell is wrong with this picture?!!
What I am learning is that somatic measures of "relaxation" include things like pulse, blood pressure, heart rate, and slow rhythmic breathing associated with meditation and deep breathing exercises. All of these pieces of data can be measured by a machine (like the biofeedback program I experienced this morning), but the conclusion drawn by the machine that I have achieved a desired state of relaxation could not be further from the truth!
So I found another definition of relaxation on Wikipedia. . . .only this one is defined through the lens of psychology, which defines relaxation as "The emotional state of low tension, in which there is an absence of arousal that could come from sources such as anger, anxiety, or fear." So what's happening is that my body is able to achieve a state of physiological relaxation (as measured by the parameters of somatic vitals), but my mind is not experiencing a state of emotional relaxation, because I am constantly aroused by varying degrees of anger, anxiety, and fear (panic)!
It seems impossible to me that my body can be relaxed, yet my mind is in a state of emotional chaos at the same time, but that is precisely what that biofeedback session proved to be true this morning. Now I just need to figure out what to do with these bizarre facts.
Another piece of the Wiki definition further states that "[r]elaxation is a form of mild ecstasy coming from the frontal lobe of the brain in which the backward cortex sends signals to the frontal cortex via a mild sedative." So it seems absolutely clear that the key to total relaxation for ME is grounded in my neurochemistry. That doesn't mean that I am ready to jump onto the medication bandwagon, but it's absolutely clear evidence of where the problem lies, so at least now I know where to begin looking for solutions!