Hair Shirts

Reading through this month's archetype, I am provided with an opportunity to learn all about the wearing of hair shirts, something I had never heard of before. Apparently, the wearing of hair shirts has traditionally been done by Christians or ascetics who are trying to do penance of some sort, or as a form of self-inflicted punishment.

Who thinks up these things? lol. . . .

We don't, of course, wear hair shirts any more, at least not in their physical form, but I couldn't help but think about all of the ways that we modern humans metaphorically continue to wear our own personal version of hair shirts every day.

We don our hair shirts every time we beat ourselves up over stupid, trivial things. . . . .or feel guilty about things that we haven't even done wrong. . . . or hold on to beliefs about our self that serve no purpose except to undermine our positive self-esteem. . . .or absorb the hurtful words and actions of other people into our core identity as if it were somehow inherently true. And we continue to wear these metaphoric hair shirts every day, yet wonder why we feel like crap about ourselves or about life in general. And don't even get me started on all of the ways that we then deal with how we feel on the other side of all of the scritching and scratching from these very painful shirts of hair. . . .self-inflicted wounds, as they are.

I think it's time to stop the wearing hair shirts. . . .metaphorically, or otherwise.

However, it is no easy thing to take off one's hair shirt, especially when it's woven from the negative strands of human experience invisibly wrapping themselves around the beauty of our spirit. I know for me, I have become immune to the hair shirt I wear, so accustomed to the scritchy scratchy layer that I no longer even recognize its irritating presence, except for the hard and caloused skin that remains as a tell-tale life map leaving me ever guarded and vigilant. And I wonder if other people are as immune to their own hair shirts as I find myself to be with mine.

Yes, it is definitely time to stop wearing my hair shirt. . . .

We're Family

I had a near death experience today. Ok, so maybe I just stepped on a roofing nail and needed a  tetanus shot, but I actually did have a life changing experience that involves a death of sorts.

As soon as I stepped on this thing I knew I was in trouble. Not huge trouble, but I knew that I would need a tetanus shot, because this roofing nail was an inch long. . . .and rusted. . . .and my little tennis shoes are only very thin little floparounds. But a three hour drive to the VA wasn't really on my list of priorities today, so I called the switchboard and one of our fire fighters came right over to transport me to the clinic.

The clinic was great, too, as I was well taken care of. And the same fire fighter picked me up at the clinic to drive me back home once I was done. I thanked him for all of the help, and then he said to me, "We're family. . . this is what we do."

To clarify, we at switchboard are also the dispatch unit for our fire and security, so there is a very clear connection, but I have pretty much felt like the old and decrepit outsider to the young hipster kids with whom I work. But what he said was true. . . we are family. . . .and today I truly felt it.

Family isn't the gene pool into which we were born. . . .these people become the relatives we grow up with. Family is created by the people we choose, the ones who care about us and accept us for the unique contribution we make, even if we don't always like or agree with each other. Some family members are also relatives, but this is not necessarily an automatic association.

Family is a choice. . . .

One of my Facebook friends, someone I went to school with ten lifetimes ago back in Lake Elsinore wrote this morning about how he had been able to lay down a burden this morning, and his day was immediately blessed by the truth of that experience. I understood what he meant in the very instant that the fire fighter made that very simple statement because a part of me died in a way, died to an old way of thinking and feeling, which then opened up my heart to feel accepted as a part of this wonderfully crazy family that is created by a bunch of orphans, really, orphans from all around the world.

Life is funny how it turns itself around to drop a wonderful and unexpected gift upon you just when you need it most, because it was so much more than my foot that was pierced today. . . .and I sincerely hope that this wonderful feeling of connectedness continues to embrace my experience here at the canyon. . . .