The problem is routine.
It's been almost a month since I quit my job and moved down here to Prescott Valley, so I have a lot of "extra" time on my hands, and I've been working hard to create a daily living routine that I can live with, one that's going to best support my health. But I have quickly moved beyond the excitement of this new life, and have started to feel the rattlings of boredom. But it's not really that I am bored with my life, but I'm definitely getting bored with the daily routine of my life.
The problem's not the routine. . . .the problem is that you are bored with the routine.
Changing my life from the ground up means that I am shaping the life I want starting from when I wake up. So that means that when my alarm goes off at 5, I should be out and running by 5:30, and then the rest of the day follows from there. But I am already dreading going to sleep because I know that I will have to wake up and go running! And it's not so much about not wanting to go run, because I do. . . .it's a deeper and more sinister feeling at work.
The problem is that you are dreading the fact that when you wake up you will have to run.
All I've done is add the running to my day, but already I am feeling like my life is no longer my own. . . .because there is this expectation that a certain amount of my day is dedicated to running, and the part of me that wants to be free to do whatever she wants is scruffing and protesting this new change! I am still free to do whatever I want for the rest of my day, but this roughly 30 minutes of time dedicated to the running is really upsetting the way my life has been balanced, and I am absolutely fascinated by that fact.
The problem is that your daily routine is out of balance.
I don't scruff if I have to go to work for 8 hours. . . .because that expectation she has already accepted and integrated, but I am honestly feeling resentful of the fact that tomorrow morning I have to take 30 minutes of my time to go run. . . .lol. And what would I be doing if I weren't running? Probably sleeping in or just laying there thinking (which is a total love fest for me). . . .but I am resentful right now that when I wake up I have to go run!
Ahhh. . . . the problem is that you are resentful of the new routine and resentful that you have to give up something that you also want to do.
I think this is what makes changing a life routine so difficult, because what I'm feeling is perfectly normal and natural when we try to change something in our life, because even if the daily routine is bad for us, it's still what we have accepted as our routine, so there is going to be a part of us that has to give up something.
The problem is that there's only 24 hours in a day.
There is no "adding" something to a daily routine . .there is only ever an exchange that must take place if the routine is going to be changed. I can't add 30 minutes of running to my day, because I only have 24 hours to work with. . . .so if I am going to run for 30 minutes, then I have to give up something else that I would normally do for those 30 minutes, and that's what I'm dealing with. . . .the feelings that I have about giving up something that I enjoy, even if the running is good for me.
The problem is that you don't enjoy the running part yet.
And that is a big part of these feelings, because I enjoy sleeping in. . . .and I enjoy laying there in the morning just thinking about things. . . .but I do not (yet) enjoy the running part, so there's not a lot of motivation to give up something I directly enjoy in exchange for something that delivers no direct joy, only indirect (and greatly delayed) health benefits.
So, the problem is routine. . . .and the fact that you're trying to change it :)
But no worries. . . .I'm not ready to give up on the new running program, as there are many wonderful benefits for me that are well worth the exhange in time units. And I'll deal with all of the problems this change in my daily routine has dropped into my life, but it would be nice if the endorphin part would start to kick in. . . .lol. . . .because it might make the resentment part lessen. . . .lol.