This isn't a new question for me, of course. In grad school, I struggled with all of the modalities with which we were presented, because they all placed the family therapist at the center of the experience as the expert with the power to label and define another person's experience. And the ones that did resonate with me were not on the "authorized" list of modalities from which I "allowed" to chose.
Is it "Avoidance?" Is it, "Adaptive?" Does it really matter?
What continues to stand out the most from today's session is how she described the process of unpacking my resistance to her labels. She said she appreciated the opportunity to get to know my internal experience...she said that's what she loves most about being a therapist.
That's exactly what happened, today. I had an internal experience that she noticed, because my demeanor changed, the tone of my voice changed, my body language changed. She could have simply moved on, but she didn't. She stopped, and she asked about what was happening on the inside of an experience that only I have access to, that only I can describe.
It's what I miss most...having people in my life who don't just "drive by" the crash scene. They stop. They ask if you're alright. They're not afraid of the blood. They help you clean up the glass. They care about what's happening on the inside, not just the damage to the car or the stop sign. They fight for the right to stay with you, even when the police officer clearing traffic tells them to move on.
Labels are how we learn about the world...tree, bird, earth, sky. Labels are also how we learn about the inner world of another person's experience. And therapy is about challenging the labels we protect, the labels we live, the labels that limit our self-defined world.
I'm glad she stopped, that she didn't just move on, that she gently challenged the labels that I live.
