I remember the morning I left for basic training like it was just today. The recruiter showed up at 3am to pick me up, and off we drove into the cold dark morning. My mom was with me at my aunt's in Napa, and we both cried as if I were never coming home again...because that's how it felt...for both of us.
That's the way life changing events feel...they feel like you are never going to come home again.
I will be leaving Arizona in exactly one month, the start of not just a long over-due trip to Nova Scotia, but the start of a whole new way of creating my life...which is precisely the point of all of the work I've been doing to shed the layers of other people's expectations about who they think I'm supposed to be...a set of out-dated expectations that I have never wanted to live up to, but didn't know how to excuse myself from the clutches of the imposed duty and responsibility.
Living a life I create for myself is going to be no easy thing to do, but I am about to learn how to do it. Everything up to now has been preparation only...soon enough the world is about to get very, very real.
And I am just so aware of how different my life is about to become, and it feels like a part of me is dying...yet this truth doesn't make me sad at all. And just like that cold dark morning nearly 30 years ago, I have no idea how all of this is going to turn out...but I am absolutely certain and determined that it will be the exact opposite experience of basic training...the exact opposite.
I don't think it matters how long it takes for us to find the truth of who we are from the inside out...it's just important that we do.
And I may never return home again, but I will be at home where ever I may be along this crazy adventure that took a lifetime to find...so, home again, home again, jiggety jig...
