Well, this week has proven to be more than just a bit stressful. I learned that the polyps removed were adenoma tissue, the type of tissue that tends to develop into colon cancer. It's not the worst case scenario, but it's what we hope will not be the case every time we find these highly dangerous sessile polyps. I don't yet know what stage of development these three were, but I'll get a copy of the path report myself when I get back to Arizona.
Time to raise the stakes.
I also had more polyps removed, only these were removed from my small intestine, so I will be holding my breath for the path findings on these jewels of my inner Nile. A person may live fairly well without a colon, but loss of the small intestine ups the ante quickly and quite profoundly.
I can't change my genetic coding...it is what it is...and it predisposes me to the many forms of a cancer I've been outrunning for most of my life. I won't outrun it forever, of course, but there are other battles I am fighting along the way...like keeping my body parts in tact, for one.
I'm not ready to stop outrunning the cancer, but the funny thing is that my response to this is the exact opposite of what I might expect it to be. I would think this would kick my traveling gypsy into high gear, but movement is the last thing I want or need right now.
What I need is to be still.
These past ten years of chaos and constant movement have been all about the loss of my sanctuary of peace...my home. I've tried to create this many different ways, but I've been going about it in the wrong way. I can see that so clearly now.
Cancer has a funny way of clarifying one's vision.
So, home it is. Even if it's found in an imperfect place in imperfect ways, Yes, Tumbleweed is my home, but I need to have a sanctuary of peace where Tumbleweed and I can sit in healing stillness for an indefinite period of now.
