Tomorrow is the official "Day 1" of my water fast, although technically I've already started (since I haven't eaten since lunch). And as I lie here trying to get to sleep...and can't (of course)...I realize that I will need to get used to not being able to sleep while I am fasting...and that's when a very difficult truth made itself known: The only reprieve I get from this seemingly never ending miserable feeling that I endure each day is when I can manage to catch some sleep. And in the absence of any substantial prospect of sleep anytime soon, I don't think I can stand to be with myself for that amount of time.
The beauty of Truth is that it opens up a potential path to Freedom...walking that path always remains a choice.
This is not a sad and pathetic feeling that I just experienced. I actually feel empowered to have finally shed the heavy, dense layers of congested distraction from around me and my life, bit by bit, this past year. Tumbleweed, and all of the sorting and downsizing are just transitory layers of this greater journey to Freedom & Independence.
How can I ever experience true Freedom, if l can't even stand to be around myself?
So, I would say that my spiritual goal for this fast has just been cast...to sit with myself through the long dark nights when sleep evades because I'm suffering at worst, and uncomfortable at best. It won't be easy, of course...but it's OK, because I won't be alone...God is always awake, too.
