Escrow has closed, the deed has been recorded, and I am officially a property owner for the first time in my life. I have been pulling weeds for more than a week while I try wrapping my mind around what I've done...and also how I am going to do what I've set out to do.
The property itself is peaceful and quiet, which is helping a lot, but I still feel like I'm going to explode. I want this to all come together quickly, but that isn't an option for me, so I need to just settle in to the long haul and learn how to breathe through the anxiety.
Just breathe, and trust this process.
This isn't the first time I've had to trust the process when I couldn't see how it would all turn out, (nor is it the most expensive endeavour), but it's definitely the most challenging thing I've ever undertaken.
So I pull weeds while I wrap my mind around what I am doing.
There are a lot of weeds, but there is also a lot of dead stuff that needs to be removed...a couple of small trees that didn't make it through the Arizona heat...the rotting corpse of some poor hapless cat...and a tree stump on the far side of the property. The biggest problem is the tree stump, of course...because there are some fresh sprouts that have miraculously begun their own journey to treehood.
Now what do I do?
What do I do with this new growth fighting to survive?
When I found these warrior sprouts I cried...because I understand these sprouts as if it were my own fight for survival. And I want to encourage their survival, but can these sprouts yield a viable tree? Am I giving them false hope by letting their journey continue unimpeded?
