I am thinking back to high school, recalling how clique-centered it was, remembering what it was like for the kids who were just so different they didn't seem to fit in to any clique. We tell these kids that if they can just mKe it through high school, they will go out into the world and find their tribe....that life does get better on the other side of high school.
But what if it doesn't?
Today is not a good day...actually, it hasn't been a good week. And I realized this morning that life where I am now feels a lot like being one of those kids in high school who just doesn't seem to fit in anywhere...only there's no "life after" to give me hope that life will one day improve.
I feel like I am still in high school, and I am that weird loner kid who no body wants to talk to or be around...but there's no graduation day to liberate me from the living hell of what has become my life.
Like I said, it hasn't been a good week.
This is it...this IS my life...and it's unbearable as it is. I'm not feeling sorry for my self, my brain hurts all of the time...my life hurts every day...and the lifestyle of avoidance and isolation that becomes the hallmark symptom of PTSD doesn't really help to make a difference, so I no longer know what to do...
I am stuck in high school...all day long...and I don't know how to make peace with the flaws and weaknesses of a brain gone awry...
